***so i'm on the edge right about now. There are about 5 songs coming onto this site soon, and i'm so nervous cause every song i've been making lately feels different - i guess thats a good thing but whatever...and this band thing, i can't help but say i'm always scared to hell of other people playing my stuff, i mean how do i teach somebody that? - why would they want to play my stuff? - who the hell could i trust to be dedicated? i dont know - i have stage fright too- when i come off a stage - my hands are always shaking like crazy no matter how many times i do it. i just want to jump into it soon and playing live with band members, i hate waiting day after day knowing that theres so much more to do. but i think my problem is that i'm scared. scared of anything really dramatic and different to happen, even when its what i want the most. all i know is i have to get over it because its all stupid.
***in other news - mary here has made plenty of clients with her web designing - she's so busy all the sudden, she has people all over the place wanting her to make their band web sites and stuff, im really happy for her. i guess she just kicks ass at what she does. and i'm goin to see The Like next monday - hell yea - i love them. maybe i should go out to the show and meet a couple important manager type peolpe and then...ooops! just like magic - appears one of my cds! have a listen! ... yea wow - i just thought of that...it would probably get thrown away - but it doesnt hurt tryin i guess.
*** thinking about hosting more local concerts, but i dont know if that would work out. and to tell you the truth, im busy as hell all the time. if im not at school (calculus kills), im always working- yea WORKING A LOT, and then when im not doing anything that has to do with those things, im so run down and tired, but i have to keep pushing myself to pile on more, and some days i feel like i just cant do anything because im always so ansy and bahhhhh make more songs djskfuihgsldghsjdkghkj djghusdhfsdkjhlkghslifhselkfggnsd;ogieh whatever.
***to end on a nice note, theres always somebody there for me. so much has happened in our town lately with high school fatal car accidents...but people really start thinking about making sure they realize how much to value your friends and who you love. i dont know what i'd do without mary, and my rex couldn't be any more perfect...wow.....no he couldn't...damn....o yea, and my family, it's just all good. and fall break is this weekend so i'll get to see more people come back to harrisburg. yayayaya!
updated - 2006-03-27
to the fans - 2006-01-09
BANNDDDDDD... - 2005-11-15
on the edge - 2005-10-04
MUSIC - how i see the stuff - 2005-08-30